Saturday, 2 May 2015

Night light

4 of my favourite songs of all time are on repeat in my sleepytime playlist. Every night I listen to this and expect that it will help me fall asleep. Well it IS called my sleepytime playlist isn't it. 
This playlist sends me on a fucking roller coaster ride of memories to the high heavens and back every single night. As much as these songs make me think and rethink every single bad decision I made in my life leading up to this very moment, I actually look forward to this night time ritual. Laying here looking up at the little elephant windchime turning to the gust of wind from the airconditioner, I suddenly feel like I have so much clarity (ironically in a dark room). 
Yet I also feel so so small. I wish I could explain this, but I don't think I have the accurate words and descriptions floating around in my mind now. 

Everything happens for a reason. Rather than fret my head and worry about things beyond my control, I think the best thing I can do (and maybe you too) is to just try as hard as we can on what currently works for us, and let fate play with everything else. Maybe you don't believe in fate and kismet, but I do, and just for a short while why not just pretend too?