4 of my favourite songs of all time are on
repeat in my sleepytime playlist. Every night I listen to this and expect that
it will help me fall asleep. Well it IS called my sleepytime playlist isn't
it.
WRONG.
This playlist sends me on a fucking roller
coaster ride of memories to the high heavens and back every single night. As
much as these songs make me think and rethink every single bad decision I made
in my life leading up to this very moment, I actually look forward to this
night time ritual. Laying here looking up at the little elephant windchime
turning to the gust of wind from the airconditioner, I suddenly feel like I
have so much clarity (ironically in a dark room).
Yet I also feel so so small. I wish I could
explain this, but I don't think I have the accurate words and descriptions
floating around in my mind now.
Everything happens for a reason. Rather
than fret my head and worry about things beyond my control, I think the best
thing I can do (and maybe you too) is to just try as hard as we can on what
currently works for us, and let fate play with everything else. Maybe you
don't believe in fate and kismet, but I do, and just for a short while why not
just pretend too?